I bet Pee Wee would win the Beaver Freezer!

Remember when my friend Scott, the Ironman, told me I was going to train for a mini-triathlon called The Beaver Freezer? Yeah, I’m trying to forget too.

It should come as no surprise to any of us that Scott’s a mechanical engineer. The problem with guys like Scott is they’re tenacious and they don’t forget things. And they set goals and check things off their lists until they finish them.

I’m on his list, apparently:

Scott: Hi Julie, I’m checking in on you. Did you ride your bike this week?

Me: I did, I did! I’m going again tonight. This hill back up to my house is hard, man…

Scott: Uh huh. When you’re ready to go on a real ride, let me know.

Me: I would happily ride all the hills in the world with you, if you think you could keep up, but my chain keeps slipping.

Scott: Hmm…slipping off when you’re in a gear or not quite engaging when you switch gears?

Me: Both! Just, you know, slipping! Solve that puzzle, Mr. Engineer!

Scott: You need a new bike…but until then, you should lube the chain.

Me: Lube the chain? I’m not sure I know what that means.

Scott: Well, I can explain it, but  if it doesn’t work, we can try adjusting the derailler.

Me: Goodness!

Scott: And if that doesn’t work, we should probably have a bike shop look at it.

Me: Do I have to make an appointment? How far out do they book? Maybe we could pencil in December as a tentative date to start the bike part of the training. I’m available December 2-4, the 28th, and the 30th. We could ride then? I mean, I can’t really ride my bike without proper lubing and derailment. Right?

Scott: I’m beginning to question your dedication to the cause Miss juliejulie; when Pee Wee Herman’s bike was stolen in “Pee Wee Herman’s Big Adventure” did he give up? Did he just say, “My bike is gone, oh well?” Did he complain that it only had one gear to begin with and he wouldn’t really miss it? NO! He searched to the ends of the earth (Well, OK to the non-existent basement of the Alamo and I don’t actually remember how he got it back. It’s been a while since I saw that movie) to get his steed back! That’s the kind of dedication that we’re looking for! Now go out to the garage, put some lube on that chain spin it around a few times, click through the gears a few times and GET ON THE BIKE!!!! Then wipe off the excess lube because it will attract dirt…

Me: Okay.

There’s really no use in arguing with an engineer.