Hope he's not allergic to Hazelnuts.

I had to go to Costco last week. We were out of toilet paper. For real. We were down to the six pack of State Farm branded mini tissues I snagged from my Eugene Half Marathon goodie bag, and put in the bathroom for emergencies (okay, seriously, they are good neighbors!) I couldn’t wait another day.

Plus, we needed batteries, so my son could use the electric keyboard to compose music for the new levels he’s designing on Little Big Planet. For some reason, I feel less guilty if he’s “composing”  “music” instead of just playing video games in the basement all day and “wasting” his summer. I really did have to go to Costco, to save his brain from turning to mush.

The thing is, I love Costco and hate Costco at the same time. I love the prices, but I hate that I can’t get out of Costco for under $200.

I also hate that they stopped carrying my Borghesse makeup that I’ve been using for about five years, all because of them (hey it was right there next to the lip gloss, so of course I gave it a try, and then I got hooked! Forever! I thought…) and they don’t even seem to care how upset this makes me.

This is what Jim will look like when he takes my call. See how he's taking notes?

But that’s another story, which I may or may not write if I decide to call Jim Sinegal, their CEO, personally and complain. I assume he’ll take my call (most CEO’s do – it’s a gift I have!) even though he doesn’t know me, but he should, because I’m a Gold Star Member, after all.

Let’s get back to today’s story, shall we? It starts out like all the others: I’m wandering around looking at things, while lyrics to songs that I can’t quite remember float through my head…

When suddenly, I saw a huge pallet of Nutella. Shrink-wrapped. Double packs.

So much goodness all in one place!

“Oh,” I whispered, just to myself, but I think I said it out loud: “Nuuutellllla…”

I don’t usually buy Nutella. I don’t eat a lot of sugar any more now that I’m following the Paleo diet (except when I’m on the verge of death, as I mentioned in the last story about the peanut M&M’s) and I don’t like to spend extra money on junk food. It’s my practical, thrifty side coming through.

“Do you want it?” I say about everything I want to buy. Yes. “Do you need it?” No.

So anyway I couldn’t decide if I should buy it or not, so I took a picture of the Nutella at Costco with my cell phone, and posted it to Twitter and Facebook right then and there, asking if I should buy it or not. Last I checked, 750 people had looked at it. Which seems like a lot to me, considering only 300 people or so will look at pictures of my hair.

But, almost 2,000 people looked at that picture of Bono and the pink shoe I took at the U2 concert, remember? So I guess Nutella falls somewhere in between me and Bono in the popularity contest. A lot of things do.

He found what he was looking for!

Anyway, the general consensus from my social media gang was a resounding yes. Yes, yes, yes! Buy the Nutella!

I needed it, it seems.

So I bought it. And when I got home I told the kids I bought it and boy, were they excited. We decided to eat some after dinner, but

But we couldn’t find the Nutella.

We assumed I left it in the car. It was late, the dogs were trying desperately to herd us all into bed so they could sleep, and I convinced the kids we should just go to bed and wait until tomorrow for Nutella.

But the next day we decided to go to the beach and there was a lot of hustle and bustle in the morning.

Halfway to the beach, my daughter asked if we could eat some Nutella now, and did we remember to pack the spoons? Oh, it’s in the way back, I said. Too dangerous to unbuckle and crawl around under the coats and stuff. And oops, no spoons.

It was a lovely day at the Oregon Coast, which is rare, but the wind was blowing hard. We had some snacks, and my son remembered the Nutella. Should we go get it out of the car now?

Elvis is my beach blanket, but it was too windy for Bingo.

No, I said. It’s too windy and sandy. And we don’t have spoons. Let’s wait.

Next we went to the sand dunes near the Fred Meyer store in Florence. There was no wind. It was hot.

These kids needed water, not chocolate!

And then I went in and got some spoons at the coffee counter. We were excited to dig in. It had been so long since we had Nutella, but once you taste that sweet Hazelnut chocolate goodness, it is hard to forget how lovely it is on your tongue.

Let’s eat it at the next stop, I said, as they piled back into the car and we drove to Honeyman Park, where there’s a lake with paddle boats and more big sand dunes, where cool kids in snow boards surf.

But alas, we could not find the Nutella anywhere in the car. So.Weird. I said. I guess we did take it inside after all, I said. It must be hiding. We took the fruit and pretzles and made the best of it. Nobody whined.

We stopped in Old Town Florence for drinks on the way home, and I told the kids they could get ice cream if they wanted but they weren’t very hungry and decided to wait for the Nutella.

As soon as we walked into the house, the oldest girl started the search. No Nutella.

And then she went back out to the car and moved all the coats and blankets I throw back there for windy beach days. She left no garment unturned, but alas, no Nutella.

Maybe I left it in the shopping cart? No. I know I didn’t.

Maybe the checker didn’t put it back in my cart? Huh. Maybe.

I went to find the reciept. I was fully prepared to drive back to Costco right that instant and convince them that we bought the Nutella but it didn’t make it home with us and we weren’t lying and they needed to give us new Nutella. And if they didn’t I would personally call their CEO because I was already mad about the makeup and this whole Nutella thing might just put me over the edge…

The Nutella is suspiciously absent!

But of course, upon further inspection, it became quite clear that the Nutella was never actually bought.

So the next day, I went back Costco and bought Nutella. And the children ate some on toast and dipped some fruit in it, and I ate some from a spoon, and it was delicious.

The end.

Nutella did not sponsor this post, but they are welcome to!

Squirrel photo via Fat-Lace.com

Jim Sinegal photo via Seattle Times.com